she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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