okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
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