The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
