He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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