Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
