either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
