I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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