Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
