I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize