we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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