No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
