Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
