I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
