508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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