Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just google imaged poop.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i believe in u and ur pee
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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