Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize