your room smells of hookers.
And success
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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