Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
