I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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