May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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