just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
