Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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