i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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