It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
