Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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