He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
