No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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