My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
