mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
two words: eviction party
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
