Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You're like the curious george of whores
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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