i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
