So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
