i already hear my dad disowning me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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