found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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