What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize