chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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