hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can you bring me the toilet please
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
