We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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