you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize