So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
