Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
