you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
should my penis look like a turkey
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
