he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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