Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
