I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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