For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize