dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
