im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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