guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
