so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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