ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize