Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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