Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
