i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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