I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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