I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize