I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
