Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
