My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I touched a dick in church today
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
