every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
