I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
