Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i think i just lost a toe
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
