he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
