Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
