The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
