It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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