Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
