Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
